Workplace politics suck

It has been 6 months since 笨mummy rejoined the workforce from being a SAHM for almost 8 months. 笨mummy really starting to hate workplace politics. It is something that seems almost unavoidable at workplace and almost everyone who work face it at a regular basis unless you are a self-employed like tuition teacher, insurance agent or a grab driver.

Being new to the company and joining at a level that one need to manage junior staffs who have been in the company longer than you may seem to be an issue. 笨mummy has experienced first hand as to how then junior staffs would find excuse to not to do the work assigned by her. And these junior staff are likely, in her opinion, the smarter one. They choose works based on the managers they want to work with and in most instances those that could help them progress or promote faster. By doing / picking works selectively, they also allow themselves to more time to focus on the works assigned by those managers. As the saying goes 多做多错少做少错不做不错。While those more honest staff, often the not so smart ones are unlikely to reject works assigned but their work quality are often not that good.

Being new, 笨mummy is also often very unsure about the procedures. Sometimes she find that her peers are not actually very helpful when she tried to approach them for help or advices especially when she is very unsure of what is the normal procedure that she needs to take. It also makes it very hard for her to give work instruction to the junior staff when she herself also do not know what are the correct procedures.

Enough of rant.. 加油💪笨mummy咬紧牙关硬撑下去吧！ 看在钱份上。 As her hubby always advise her to take a step at a time and bear with what is going on for the sake of monthly salary that goes into her bank account.

Family conflict part 1

笨mummy has her fair share of dealing with unreasonable people especially coming from a 2 years stint as a customer service operator. Dealing with difficult colleagues, customers, friends and even suppliers are never much a problem as we can always end the relationship if thing get bad (i.e. we can quit our job, stop buying stuffs from that particular supplier).  The most difficult is dealing with family members. Family members are linked by blood ties and it is never by choice, unlike a friend that we choose to befriend.

笨mummy has a first-hand encounter with difficult and unreasonable family members. This is also the cause of her decision to be a SAHM and not enlist the help of her mother anymore to take care of her Child 1 and Child 2 and move back to her own place. Family member A and B are both not in full time employment and they experience great deal of unhappiness with笨mummy continuing to stay with them in the same household for reason, yet again unknown to笨mummy. Maybe笨mummy has annoyed them in ways that she is not aware of.

Profile of these difficult and unreasonable family members

Family member A is like a phantom living in the household. 笨mummy never really got to see him during her stay at the household. He was out early in the morning between 5-6am for his regular morning walk before笨mummy wakes up (which is normally around 6am to feed Child 2 and eat her breakfast and prepare for work).  笨mummy is left the household around 7.15am for work and in most days, Family member A has not yet return from his morning walk when she left the household. In those days when Family member A is back before笨mummy left the house, there is little chance of interaction at all, as he went straight to the toilet for “big business” (i.e. pooing) and this normally take a while for him. By the time笨mummy came back from work, Family member A is gone and he would only be back to the household after 10pm, and at that time, 笨mummy is already in her room sleeping.

Family member B operates like he is living in the Europe time zone, i.e. he wakes up at 3-4pm in the afternoon and went to bed at 5-6 am in the morning. His meal times also have uncanny similarity to a person living and breathing in the Europe time zone. Breakfast for him start at 3-4pm (i.e. UK time 8-9am), he would then have lunch around 7pm (that UK time 12noon), dinner at 2-3am and on some days, supper at 5am. Family member B stay at home most of the time, with short intervals during the days where he would be out of the household to have a smoking break and buy lottery (toto,4D) or at middle of the night to get food.

What are their grievances?

Grievance number 1 -笨mummy does not help out in the household or selfish by taking day off to do her own stuff and not helping out with household chores.

The common complaint that笨mummy heard from them is that she does not help out in the household or taking day off to do her own stuff. Hmm that is in a way true when she is hardly around or she is busy with stuff on her leave day. Let her details how a typical weekday is like  –

6-6.30am	Wake up, clean up, enjoy her breakfast – her own me-time of the day.
6.30 -7am	Feed Child 2
7-7.15am	Get dress for work. If time permits, she does some basic chores –tidying up her bed, clean up the mess created by Child 1, if any, the night before
7.15am-6.30pm	Commuting to and from work and working in office
6.30-8.30pm	Bath Child 2, has her dinner, bathe, feed Child 2, wash and sterilize Child 2’s bottles, coax Child 2 to sleep. Entertain Child 1 when required depending on his mood.
8.30-9.30pm	If笨mummy is not the choose one to play with Child 1, she would have a bit of time to catch a breather.
10pm to 1am	By 10pm, 笨mummy prepared for hit the bed with 3-5 occasional disturbance from Child 2 who co-sleep where she needs to rock or carry Child 2 to settle her back to sleep.
1am to 1.30am	Child 2’s midnight feed at 1am. This vary depending on Child 2. Sometime she can be up as early as 11pm or even as late as 3.30am for the feed

While her typical weekend schedule is

Sat	笨mummy returns to her own house with Child 1 and 2. This includes feeding, diaper changing, playing, bathing, entertaining both Child 1 and 2. If time permits, she could have a breather to have a coffee break at 3pm.
Sun morning	Laundry is scheduled on Sunday
Sun 4pm	笨mummy returns to the household around 4pm in the afternoon with Child 2. Child 1 is temporary out-sourced to the other set of grandparents till dinner time. Normally, 笨mummy will go out for a short trip to the mall (from 4pm to 5.30pm) leaving Child 2 with her mum since 4-5pm is the napping time of Child 2. She will try to be back by 5.30 pm to start the evening cycle started again (see above 6.30 to 10pm of the weekday schedule above).

Let’s talk about days where she is on leave. The morning cycle and evening cycle are identical to a weekday, except the time in office is replaced with the following:

7-8am	Entertain Child 1 and bring Child 1 to school
8-9am	Commuting to her house. Yes, it will take about an hour or so to reach
9-11.30am	Sweeping & mopping, washing of bedsheets, etc (Depending on the scheduled tasks of the month)
11.30am to 2pm	Lunch and grocery shopping (i.e. veg, fish and meat for cooking Child 1 lunch and dinner on weekend and stock up any items that need to be replenished) – including commuting time
2-2.30pm	Back home. Unpack the grocery purchases
2.30-3.30pm	Commuting back to household. Sometimes if 笨mummy settled her chores earlier, she would be back to the household at 2pm.
3.30-5.30pm	Once she is back to the household, she would be busy with Child 2 – i.e. feeding, diaper changing and playing.
After 5.30pm	The evening cycle begins.

Looking at the schedules, 笨mummy wonders where are the empty slots that she could find time to help out with the household chores. 笨mummy did offer a number of ways to lighten the household chores of her mum – ordering of tingkat (so no need for cooking of dinner), her family members’ clothing can be wash once/twice a week using the washing machine since office wear are not that dirty (so no need to handwash everyday) 

Grievance number 2 – Complain too much or nag too much on the way Child 1 and Child 2 are managed.

Another common grievance that 笨mummy heard is that she complain /nag too much. 笨mummy wonders which mummy does not complain/nag on the way their own children are being care for, whether they care for by grandparents, maid or childcare. She knows a number of mummies that set restrictions for their child’s caregiver, i.e. no TV/iPad, no sleeping in摇篮, no use of walker, daily morning stroll to get the morning sun (they said this helps babies to vitamin D which is good for calcium absorption and bone development).  And childcare centers also enforced rules in toddles to help them in their social development and keep communication with parents on the child's progress in childcare. 

One of the highlight that created most grievance in B is her complaint of the use of iPad during bedtime or close to bedtime given by B to Child 1. 笨mummy does not set any rule for her mum caring for her Child 1, although she has a no iPad rule at her own place, she understand that iPad could, in some way occupied a child for a while and freeing up some time. Child 1 started using iPad after moving to the household (he only moved there after 18 months). 笨mummy witnessed constant temper tantrum from Child 1 due to the use of iPad at the household. Sleep time is affected, with Child 1 not wanting to sleep and hope to continue with the iPad. Screaming, yelling, hitting of adult are all common sight. 笨mummy has told her mum to stop the usage of iPad at night so that such episodes of temper tantrum can be reduced and iPad usage is still okay anytime before bedtime. Nowadays, 笨mummy is no longer see temper tantrum at bedtime though Child 1 still not wanting to sleep at bedtime and find excuse to delay bedtime, but there is no screaming, telling or hitting of adults in his attempt to delay bedtime.

Other causes of complaints from 笨mummy is the differing view between the old wives tales and the scientific facts. 笨mummy is a more of a supporter of the scientific facts and disagree with some old traditional that has no basis– like newborn babies should drink some water cause formula milk is heaty and cause constipation, introducing solid early would help babies sleep through the night, shaving newborn’s hair will make it grow better, etc. Sometimes these comments come from Family member A who has no experience caring for a baby or child at all. Imaging a person who does not drive, sitting next to the driver in a car, giving instruction to the driver on how to drive. 

If they do not like to hear 笨mummy complaining or nagging, that is going to be hard. She, as a parent, is naturally concerned with her children’s well-being, and there is no way she would keep silent when it impacts the well-being of her children. They do not get it cause they have never been a parent before. 

Bucket list

笨mummy has been thinking a lot recently about life after coming back from a recent trip from Japan. She reached Singapore on 12 Nov 15 midnight, a day before Friday the 13^th (i.e. 13 Nov 15). Yes, that fateful day where Paris was attacked. She has been asking the question as to whether she living her life fully and doing what she loves. Nobody can predict when onr would leave this world as anything can happen, an accident, a heart attack, etc, life is so fragile at times.

She decided to list down the bucket list of things that she wanted to do / accomplish before her time is up as a reminder that she should live her live to the fullness and not regret when she, one day, looks back at her own life.

A. Visit and see more parts of the world

Oh yes, this sounds like a big goal. As a child, 笨mummy never get the chance to travel, not even to Malaysia, as her parents are busy and careful with money. But she never once envy people who travel as travel is never part of her life as you never experience it and you would not miss it.

As she started earning money, visiting places with friends, exploring the internet, it seems there are so much out there in this world that she wants to take a look. For example, experiencing farm stay, touching snow, autumn leaves, visiting theme parks, etc.

She will try her best to visit and experience something new and different once a year if possible.

B. Spend more time with her child

The feeling of guilt is always there when笨mummy has to work and her little one is left with the grandparents. Though笨mummy is rest assured that the grandparents are great caretaker of the little one and adore him as much as her, she still wants to be there for her little one to accompany him when he hits milestones, learns and experience new things, and exploring this exciting world around him.

Parents’ time with the child is very limited and the child will eventually grow up and experience the world on his own without the parents. 笨mummy always cherish the time with her little one on weekend and focuses her full attention to him, that means no handphone / computer usage when the child is around (she would only use them when he is taking afternoon nap or when he is out with daddy at the playground). She tried her best to bring him along to social functions as long as the places allow children of his age.  

She hopes that she keeps this up and constantly reminding herself to cherish the time with the little one, and do not reject the little one’s requests for hugs and / or playtime.

C. Being more patient with her parents

As a mummy now, 笨mummy can understand the care and love that parents have for their child, especially her own parents who care for her. As her parents are getting older, they need more care and concern from her.

Sometimes笨mummy would lose her temper at her parents (though she regrets doing so after she calm down) especially at times when she is busy. 笨mummy hopes that she can be more patient with her parents and not lose her temper at them. She also wish that she can spend more time with them.

D. Stop having excuse and start moving

笨mummy had spent a few months learning basic Japanese few years back, and she does not have time to keep up with the learning and now they are all “returned” to the teacher. It is a language that笨mummy wants so much to learn, but the lack of time to practice make it very hard to retain what she learnt. However from her recent trip, she met a lady from China, living in Japan, who know how to speak four languages – Chinese, English, Japanese and Korean. She is totally amused by the lady’s determination to learn that many languages.

As long as someone has the determination to succeed in something, he would always make time for it. So笨mummy has decided to stop giving herself excuses and start moving to complete the following:

·        Learning Japanese and pass Japanese Language Proficiency Test

·        Learning clay art

·        Complete her Wilton cake decoration level 3 and 4 courses

Let’s get working on them, 笨mummy!! 

On a quest to solving the mystery of the lost money

笨mummy is on a quest to solve the mystery of the money that got lost. When 笨mummy started work after graduation, she was earning $2,300 and after deducting employee CPF of $469 and giving $500 to parents for allowance, she was able to save $1,000 a month. This meant that she only spent $340 per month on transport, phone bill, Internet subscription, food, clothing and entertainment. This was in year 2001.. 14 years ago. Adding in inflation, the spending amount should be much higher. 

Coming back to 2015, 笨mummy budget for expenses were $1,100. This is excluding common household expense like PUB bill, town council fee, house Internet bill, etc that were set aside in a common account with her hubby. This $1,100 is allocated for 笨mummy own expense like her phone bill, transport, F&B,etc. This amount is excluding a $510 set aside for insurance premium monthly. How did an expense of $340 on year 2001 grow 3.25 times to $1,100?


笨mummy has no answer to this. And she has set her mind to find the answer by starting to track her expenses and identify where her money gone to every month.

Getting back

Yes, 笨mummy has been away for a long long time... her last post was May last year. Now she is back. Last year was eventful for 笨mummy. Coping with pregnancy, emergency C-Section, to being a mummy taking care of a newborn baby, coping with nasty confinement nanny, and dealing with in-laws. Now things have more or less being more stable for 笨mummy, though she is still quite busy and 24 hours a day is always no enough for her. It is good to be back to doing what she uses to do... penning down her thought in a blog and sharing things and ideas with others. :)

笨mummy's daily rant - 08 Mar 2011

There is this lady in her late thirties working in the same office building as 笨mummy. 笨mummy has been noticing her for a while. 笨mummy always saw her in the office gym toilet in the past when 笨mummy was still hardworking enough to go gym [which she has not been doing so lately due to laziness].

It is not surprising to see a co-worker in the office gym toilet, but the thing is she is not there to workout, rather to bath. Normally this co-worker bath once in the morning and in the evening before going home. 笨mummy guessing that this co-worker wants to save her water bills by bathing in the office gym toilet. 笨mummy cannot believe that there are such people in the world who would resort to this. But this co-worker is not the only one, apparently, 笨mummy was told by one of the guy colleagues that there is also an uncle who come to office gym toilet to bath and brush his teeth every morning.

笨mummy's daily rant -07 Oct 2010

笨mummy is having headache since Tue. She feels terrible with the pain in the head, and has problem focusing and concentrating at work. 

Unlike flu or fever where there are visible signs, headache is not a "illness" that can be seen or measure in some way. Sometime it is so hard to get medical leave as it may appear to the doctor and even your boss that you are trying to "chao keng" [to cheat"].

笨mummy's daily rant -04 Oct 2010

笨mummy was asked the same question again over this weekend about when she is getting marry. She cannot help but wonder why must people follow the norms? What is it about the cycle of life that everyone need to follow. From schooling to working to getting attached to getting marry and having kids, etc. 

It appears that life be so predictable and so process-like, and everyone need to follow that "invisible book of rules and regulations". If you help to move away from the norms according to that "invisible book of rules and regulations", you would be treated like a freak.

笨mummy does not think of getting marry after she hit the 30 mark last year. There is no desire in the heart to do so as the heart is calm and peaceful. Whatever dreams that she hopes to create is already gone after the long wait, and the fire of passion to create these dreams already gone by now. 

Now she only want to hit 35 and buy a HDB flat on a resale market and stay on her own.

笨mummy's daily rant - 27 Sep 2010

笨mummy having monday blue. She dragged herself to work this morning with hope that she can get a solution to her problem at work as her boss agreed to discuss with her on that today. Though she has a gut feel that her boss may be missing in action today by either taking medical leave or take urgent leave.

After working for 5 years in the same organsation, she no longer has that passion and "fire" in her work. She remembers fondly how she used to love her work and looked forward to work every morning. Work was simple and colleagues were nice. As she moves from department to department, the passion and "fire" diminished bit by bit and she wonders whether there is any left in her to continue working.

Image: Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What makes 笨mummy continues is money. Money to pay her bills. Money to provide the little enjoyment in life. Till the day where 笨mummy can realise her dream of a $2,000 a month of passive income, she will continue to work despite being "cold and passionless".

笨mummy's daily rant - 23 Sep 2010

笨mummy took the train today instead of waiting for the express bus - 502 as the 'TranSGuide" application on her iPhone shown "no prediction" when she checked when that bus is going to arrive at her bus stop.

A 5min bus ride from her stop to the bus stop A, and a 15min walk from the bus stop A to the MRT station and take the West-East line. This is follow by 30min of standing in a packed train with foreign workers, elderly (refering to aunties and uncles who need to get up early to go to work, not retirees) and students with their bulky bags. When the train stops at Jurong East Station, it was already 人山人海, and the people are waiting to come into the train. That reminded 笨mummy of a scene in Resident Evil where the zombies gathered around to attack a car.

This is not the end yet. 笨mummy needs to get off at Raffles Place MRT station to change to the North South line to Novena. This is normally where 笨mummy can finally get to sit down after 50min of standing and walking and enjoy the rest of the ride.

Normally the train arrived at the station, it was already 10% filled with foreign workers with darker skin colour. 笨mummy just cannot figure out where these workers come from since the station before Raffles Place is Marina Bay and it is not possible to have workers dormitories located in that part of Singapore. At City Hall, more commuters including foreign workers got into the train and the train is getting packed again. This time, they are workers from the "middle kingdom".

Finally at Orchard Road, most of the people get off including foreign workers. And this is the part where 笨mummy starts to love her ride. But it only lasts for less than 10min or only about 12% of her travelling time of 1 hour 20min.